Wednesday, January 19, 2011

when it hits you

i read profiles and blogs and status updates about other babies with HLHS ...i cry. then it hits me at any moment i could lose Olivia. one day i can be holding her and the next she is gone. i realize i shouldnt think this way but there is no way not to think this way. i see it everyday.
i am torn its a double edged sword ...the lovely ladies who comfort me on restless nights seem to be a root of these panic attacks also.
im terrified of what the future holds. im scared of what god has planned... but i am anxious for what it is also.
being torn this way is painful and exhausting.


  1. I agree...wholeheartedly. It is scary and I worry way too much. I also spend a lot of time looking at my beautiful daughter and realizing what a miracle I have. Cherish every second with Olivia and show her all the love you can.

  2. Katie I hope that I dont cause you too much anxiety! Dont be afraid of the future just focus on the now. I know its hard and I can understand your fears. But all we can do is take every minute as it comes. I really hope I'm not hurting your bonding with Olivia because truth is I refuse to not be your friend lol You know I'm here for you anytime day or night. I love you guys like family and can't wait to meet you someday soon!

  3. You can't and you don't let yourself think negatively about Olivia's condition, and I praise you for that! You're so strong Katie. You and Olivia are on my mind & in my prayers, always. <3