The after shock of it all has set in and i no longer can sit still. i hate this olivia looks horrible i put a smile on my face and i pretend that i am ok and hanging in there but seriously right now i am losing it.
these high spikes of good and HORRIBLE dips of LOW LOWS are killing me.
Olivia is hanging in there and the sad thing is she has no understanding of the world around her and she is fighting so hard to live and there is no way to take the pain of all the tests and pokes i hate it.
It makes me sick to my belly knowing all the pain she has to go though and there are no promises that she will even make it to a year old ... and with that i am angry and pissed off!
I shouldnt even be complaining that about this because things can get worst.
last night will be the 4th time she has coded in the 2 months and 2weeks she has been alive.
all i ask is that you continue to give olivia strength lord. please?