Tuesday, March 8, 2011

the after shock

The after shock of it all has set in and i no longer can sit still.  i hate this olivia looks horrible i put a smile on my face and i pretend that i am ok and hanging in there but seriously right now i am losing it.
these high spikes of good and HORRIBLE dips of LOW LOWS are killing me.

Olivia is hanging in there and the sad thing is she has no understanding of the world around her and she is fighting so hard to live and there is no way to take the pain of all the tests and pokes i hate it.

It makes me sick to my belly knowing all the pain she has to go though and there are no promises that she will even make it to a year old ... and with that i am angry and pissed off!

I shouldnt even be complaining that about this because things can get worst.
last night will be the 4th time she has coded in the 2 months and 2weeks she has been alive.

all i ask is that you continue to give olivia strength lord. please?

4 comments:

  1. Katie..iam here for you if you need to talk or anything i know what you mean..it was hard for us to see serena the way she was but always have faith..I wish i can say the right things to make you feel better..Just remember to have faith..always here for you katie..

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  2. Praying for strength for Olivia and also for you.

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  3. Sending loads of positive thoughts to Stanford for you and Olivia. It is so NOT FAIR, which is an incredible understatement. Angry and pissed is so totally "normal" for us moms, even as we hurdle each stage.

    Love to you and Olive. Hang in there mom, you're amazingly strong. Olive is a lucky little girl to have such a great momma.

    Hugs.

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  4. Big Papa and grandmaMarch 9, 2011 at 8:59 AM

    Olivia's Big Papa and Grandma say... We all pray for Olivia, constantly. We, the whole family who love that little one so much, are in the battle with you and Christopher. Although we cannot be with you physically, we are there with love and support. Our hearts are filled with the love and sorrow for what that precious little angel baby is going through. We must continue to pray for the medical staff and for God's strength for Olivia as well as all those who love her so much.

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