a step forward but still not out of the woods.

So if you didn't gather from my last post we are back at the hospital and things did not look very good at ALL. there was a couple events that made me fall to my knees and beg god not to take my baby from me.
we brought Olivia in to the ER on Thursday night because she was looking pretty grey and was sweating really bad we where not sure as to what was going on so to be safe we went in. on the way to north-bay our local ER i sat in the back with her to comfort and watch her color. i also had Olivia on her pulse ox (monitoring her heart rate and o2 stats) her stats where all over the place and at one point her HR was at 230. when we got her i the hooked her up to the monitors and watched her and noted her changes but nothing to bad happened... she did throw up a bit and continued to change different shades. so they decided to transfer her to Stanford because they where not to sure if things would get worst or not. the transport was uneventful and smooth.
when i arrived at Stanford they where trying to replace her ng tube and make it a NJ ... and thats when everything seemed to get bad...
i was sitting next to her and the nurses where turned away for one reason or another and Olivia went a slate grey color.... drenched in sweat... ice cold...her body went limp... and those beautiful eyes just glassed over. i was horrified. i saw my life crash ... i begged god at that moment ...
they tried just giving her o2 by the mask and that didnt work so they sent me out of the room and thats when they had to intubate her. it was horrible waiting not knowing if id ever see her smiling little face. i never want to go through that again. my heart felt like it was going to explode and my head was spinning.
Chris was in fairfield because of work and making that call that i dreaded ... "you need to get here things are looking really bad" was words i never wanted to say.

its been a rocky few days they kept her sedated and limp most of the time....

fast forward to today....
they took the breathing tube out and put her on high flow nasal canula. she has been up and down all day and its been scary ... im terrified about the future but there is one thing i am sure of... Olivia is my life and i cant lose her. i will fight everyday for her... we are not ready to give up she is our reason.

we are hoping she will stable out and more answers will come to us but as far as what happened they are not 100% sure but it has mainly been said that it was aspiration pneumonia... not something to take lightly....

Gtube is in the future.