Wednesday, May 18, 2011

sweet little girl

video
video
i am missing olivia today like everyday. its so hard to believe she is gone. everything feels so unreal. like it didnt happen and there is a huge chunk of my heart missing. i walk around with this feeling of dread ...you know that shitty feeling like you forgot something somewhere that was REALLY important and you start to panic. yeah i live with that panic EVERYDAY.
i get angry everyday. i wish that it was easier to get out of bed. the  dust has settled and now i sit at home alone. it sucks because i should be busy with a 5 month old and instead i am able to take off to reno for the weekend and getting shitty drunk. that responsibility switch just doesnt shut off... but you have to fight back those feelings to have a good time.

i miss her . ugh

3 comments:

  1. Those videos...heartbreakers...I will never forget your special little girl. I feel so blessed to have "known" her and her very special mommy <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are such a strong women and I am so sorry for your loss you and ur family will be in my and my lil sitalys prayers you have honestly touched my heart

    ReplyDelete
  3. Those videos truly touched my heart. You are such a strong mommy! Baby Olivia will always be watching over you. Such a precious little angel! <3

    ReplyDelete